The above group of images represent the past 17 years, promises to me and encouragement for me to persevere as the Lord walked me through His plans to understand my call, being led by His Spirit and trusting His care and kindness. 

Luke 22:26 TPT

But this is not your calling. You will lead by a different model. The greatest one among you will live as one called to serve others without honor. The greatest honor and authority is reserved for the one who has a servant heart.

Stop and listen, close your eyes, open your hands to the need of the moment...My calling is Not to open a thousand homes...but be present in this one. My calling is NOT to be known by everyone....but to know and see the ones in front of me. My calling is NOT to fix or hold back ...but to unbind and declare. My calling is NOT a cause but individuals. 

Do you know what your calling is? It has taken me a long time to know my calling and a long time to find out what is NOT mine.  The last few years have made very clear that though my heart has many passions and that I desire to be part of "great things" I have to follow the still small voice leading me on a path that is less traveled.  I have chased after causes and done my part but each road led me back to the individuals in my life. I had a season of teaching and training, a season of leading, a season of building and networking, and recently a season of being led back to the purposes and calling I was made for...my heart is knit to my husband and our call together is to create homes of healing, places of rest and reason to hope. 

I was asked recently to share what has brought me out of the dark places in my life...the low places, the lost places, the wounds from friends and ministry partners, the stopped endeavors, the health set backs and the Not now and Not Yet...I looked back at past blogs and it seems I circle back to the same theme often. Being content in who I am and how I was made. Taking off any hindrances to loving and serving. Engaging fully.  

I realize I shut down or cut myself off from others when the way to FULLY serving and FULLY loving seems blocked or rejected. I have had to grow in wisdom and confidence that the shame and hurt I have taken on can be walked through and overcome. I have had to learn that it is never about imposing my will on others but being willing and obedient to serve and to love. It is never my responsibility for how another will receive or what they will do with what I offer. If I want to fully enter in to finding the treasures hidden in the dark...then I must be okay knowing the way to them is not glorious or without hindrances. So, I have to keep choosing to refocus my eyes, to realign my thoughts, to rest and return...

I have had to be honest with myself about how I see myself, the lenses from others that have added to my call, distracted from my call or led me away from my call.  I have had to stop searching and learn to say no when I am focused on anything other than where the Holy Spirit is leading.  I have had to grow in discerning the cautions and protections I utilize from the still small voice saying "go this way."

I have to be firm in what is NOT my calling to fully enter into what is. I am called TO walk alongside of Hagar as Sarah and to fully live out a surrendered life to Jesus sitting at His feet, walking into hard places, fully trusting His plans an purposes and knowing that the Causes that are dear to me will be addressed in the Individuals I love. I have to know that the mistakes I make and the times I fall short He is faithful and will always extend mercy and grace. The more I learn this and accept it the more the oil of His love, grace, and mercy flow not just to me but through me.

May you know clearly what is NOT your calling. May you extend yourself and others the grace and kindness needed to FULLY Love and FULLY engage.  May you LEAD as you SERVE and be content in WHAT IS YOUR CALLING.

11 With this in mind, we constantly pray for you, that our God may make you worthy of his calling, and that by his power he may bring to fruition your every desire for goodness and your every deed prompted by faith. 12 We pray this so that the name of our Lord Jesus may be glorified in you, and you in him, according to the grace of our God and the Lord Jesus Christ. 

2 Thessalonians 1:11-12 

 Psalm 18:18-19

When I was at my weakest, my enemies attacked—
    but the Lord held on to me.
 His love broke open the way,
    and he brought me into a beautiful, broad place.
    He rescued me—because his delight is in me!

I had the honor of watching the movie Redeeming Love, based on Francine River's book with two dear women. We viewed the movie, each through our own perspective, seeing before our eyes the story we lived together; two of us from the perspective of a friend, as the hands and heart of Jesus, and one of us as a woman whose life seemed stolen without hope of rescue as she has lived Angel's story. It was beautiful to see her journey come full circle and know that this day our dear friend was on the other side, never to return again to her abuse and broken places. We experienced together the truth that no one is beyond the Lord's love and redemption. We had come together to a beautiful and broad place of hope, healing, and rest. 

Much like the story depicts, our role is to live our lives and be open and welcoming to strangers; to ask the Lord who do you have for me to share my life with? My heart has always gravitated towards the weak, the broken, the bound, and the lost. When the Lord brought my husband into my life he found me in a place of weakness, brokenness, bound, and lost. The Lord used him to call me out of my cycle of hurt and to look with eyes beyond to posture our life together as a place of refuge, safety, hope, and freedom. 

I often find I am more similar to Martha than Mary from scripture and more Marilla than Matthew from Anne of Green Gables. I am focused on tasks, cleaning up the mess, and keeping things in order. Yet, the Lord is gracious and patient as he calls me to be intentional to imbue His presence which often means setting aside my plans, facing the resistance in my heart and having to wait on the Lord's timing. He calls my heart to Himself to remember His love, His forgiveness, His faithfullness, and His fulfillment. He is a rescuer. He is a redeemer. He is compassionate. I can trust Him. I want to live a life of loving sacrifice. I want to continually resist and not give place to jealousy, bitterness, fear, selfish ambitions, or vanity, even when it is painful, exhausting, and the days seem long. I want to always allow the love of Jesus to lead and go deeper in trusting Him especially when I'm walking with someone in their struggle to be free in order for them to experience God's redeeming love.

May you know this love, experience this love, and live to see the fruit that grows from this love!

Here’s what I’ve learned through it all: Don’t give up; don’t be impatient; be entwined as one with the Lord. Be brave and courageous, and never lose hope. Yes, keep on waiting—for he will never disappoint you! Psalms 27:14 TPT

In the past year I have had my eyes opened to the sacred, cherished, intimate moments where the Lord meets me and I see so clearly His loving kindness, compassion and mercy. For me these moments come in relationships and more often than not in a moment of ministry or service. Some of these moments I have captured in past blogs but something recently brought the whole year and these moments into sharp focus.

I was honored to support a young woman in our program through her delivery. I was reminded so clearly that my presence was valuable and important. That it was a gift and a sacred moment where I could offer covering and support and be part of the team focused on seeing her son brought into the world. It was not planned as she came to us a month from delivery. When it was time she had no planned support person. I was there, I was prepared, and I was able to serve her in this way.

As I reflected on this experience others came to mind, a previous birth supporting another young woman in labor, my part in ministry teams helping women grieve and heal from past abortions, sexual assault and violation, and the trauma of abuse and teams building programs and places of healing and hope. 

Then I reflected on the even more intimate moments: Sitting with a young woman reading through a study on Hagar, seeing herself in the story and seeing the One who Sees Her. Sitting with my daughter and a young woman at a coffee shop waiting for a bus offering a moment of friendship so she did not have to be alone. A phone call from another young woman sharing her joy at being able to foster a child and the hopes she has for herself and her daughter. Having the chance to embrace a returning woman whose life had seemed over and her heart had seemed dead, and within weeks she was able to express joy at being alive and ready to pursue a future.

It is in these intimate moments where we see the Lord’s goodness, and for me it is where I experience the deep intimacy of being and bearing His fragrance, His presence, His compassion…being part of His revelation of deep love and affection. I experience being included, valuable, and beloved.  These are the moments I hide in my heart and fuel me on the journey.

May you experience intimate, cherished moments that remind you that you are valued, wanted and loved. May these moments fill you to overflow to those around you. May you be brave and courageous and never give up.

John 12:24 TPT Let me make this clear:[a] A single grain of wheat will never be more than a single grain of wheat unless it drops into the ground and dies. Because then it sprouts and produces[b] a great harvest of wheat—all because one grain[c]died.[d]

c. 12:24 The “one grain” is Jesus Christ, who will within days be offered as the sacrifice for sin on Calvary’s cross. He will “drop” into the ground as “a grain of wheat” and bring forth a great “harvest” of “seeds.” This parable given to Philip and Andrew was meant to be Jesus’ reply to the request by the non-Jewish seekers to see Jesus. Christ’s answer? “They will see me through you. As you follow me, you will also experience the dying and birthing experience.” The harvest among the nations will come when we follow Jesus where he goes.

Three years ago this month I walked through the beginning of a season of dying to the purposes, plans and priorities that I thought were my heading in ministry.  I came to a realization that I needed to humble myself and drop the armor I was carrying to keep up with what I thought I was to do, the people I was to walk it out with, and the efforts to focus on. In a few short months all those plans, purposes and relationships ended.

The Lord graciously opened up an opportunity to serve at our church in a safe place for me to heal, to grow and to learn. Almost daily we declared Luke 4:18-19 NIV

 “The Spirit of the Lord is on me,

    because he has anointed me
    to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners
    and recovery of sight for the blind,
to set the oppressed free,
19     to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.”

This declaration took me back to who I am in Christ as well as the foundations of HoHC, and has since opened up new opportunities of ministry. This season took me from having to work outside of House of His Creation to returning full time this past June. As a ministry we put to rest the larger ministry, FoRM we had created and made the decision to relocate operating solely as House of His Creation. And now, as a family, we have received new vision for our part in the work of House of His Creation...our role as House Family at the maternity home is coming to and end. We moved into Lititz with the purpose of expanding and seeing an extended arm of House of His Creation brought to life following the heart of Psalm 68:5(6a)

A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows,
    is God in his holy dwelling.
6 God sets the lonely in families, 

As the grain of wheat has fallen we have seen multiplication and new fruits after years of labor. It is time for the purposes of HoHC and our family to expand and to provide for another underserved group of women (exploited girls coming out of sex trafficking). This will be an experience of family and home, the context in which we see the most healing. We are going to open a new house known as 685 to specifically serve these women.

To learn more we have a page to keep up to date on this process: The 685 Program

As you think of seasons when relationships, ministry efforts, or purposes came to a close; do you see the new life that has come from that?  

My prayer for you is that you too may experience beauty for ashes, receive the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of despair. (Isaiah 61).